Hi everyone,
Some time has passed since my last entry. I have been using the time to find my inner peace. It was the best decision. I was always the type to makes sure everyone was good and I would put myself on the back burner. Over the last couple of months, there has been a complete 180 flip. I have been focusing on ME. Found happiness and just been living life.
I recommend the people who are considered everyone’s shoulder to lean on- to take a break and focus on yourself. Trust me, I know it is hard, but is a necessity at this point. With COVID still present and the daily scares one might go through you have to take care of yourself. Stop putting your goals, dreams, or anything you might be interested in on pause. Take that leap of faith- I promise you, you will not regret it. If anything you might be a little mad at yourself that you didn’t do it sooner. I sure was, but I am not stopping until I am where I want to be in the long run.
I have taken a leap of faith and got into painting, reading more, starting to rewrite a book I lost between computers years ago and just bettering myself in every aspect. I have heard the good, the bad and the ugly for me putting myself first instead of making sure everyone was good. It took me some time to honestly ignore the foolishness people were spitting out their mouth; but let’s be honest I could care less. Honestly, biting my tongue hurt too much. I stopped and I did lash out a couple of times and hurt people’s feeling a few times; but if you don’t respect my feelings why should I respect yours?
People fail to realize that the ones that people think are well put together are in fact not. We put a façade to get through the day, but no one ever asks us the million dollar questions: ‘Are you okay?’ ‘Is there anything I can help you with?’ ‘You are very quiet and have a straight face, is there anything you want to talk about?’ I wasn’t asked if everything was okay until I went ghost on certain people to find my inner peace and happiness. But whether they asked or not, it showed me that people only come to you when they need you and not just because.
Now I know sometimes it is a little hard to decipher if someone is off or not, but it doesn’t hurt to ask. STOP going to people only to vent and when it’s convenient for you. Reach out to the people that are always there for you whenever you need them. Although we might not say much we are in fact still human and may be going through a lot behind the smile and silence.
My leap of faith has altogether made me a happier person. Although I have a resting B face majority of the time, I am genuinely happy. I am making moves and shifting the board to work around it because the only place I want to go is up. If you are looking to disrupt that please exit at the nearest door.
“Take a leap of faith. You will either land somewhere new or learn to fly.”- Kandyse Mcclure
Aisha's Corner 